hot&bothered.

There’s orange walls and burnt orange carpets. Canary yellow counter tops and wooden panels. The feng shui of this house doesn’t fit me. I hate to complain but its in my spoiled nature. Beggers cant be choosers, I have to remember. I just have to get used to it. 

The weird lull has taken over by my humid night. Sitting in this unfamilar bedroom, minimal clothing due to no central AC. Again; spoiled. 

I think the high from returning back to the only place I have ever considered home has worn off. A little too soon for my liking. Something is off, something doesn’t seem right. The anticipation to get here almost killed me and now I’m wondering what next to do.

Boredom is deadly, but independence isn’t. As much as I like being alone, as of right now I can’t stand it. The solitude and lack of stimulation drives me mad. I need to return to the city. The big buildings, the strangers, the excitement, the not knowing whats around the corner. 

I hate to say my homecoming was less than satisfactory but it was. I guess to most it isnt consider a coming home moment but it always is in my eyes. I guess leaving the niche and place in my group so many miles away has left me with an identity crisis on my hands. But I’ve always been one to stick to my guns. And to embrace change. And strive in awkward moments. I just have to be the Erica I know and love. 

Don’t slow down. Its like when youre coming off of something and you have that moment where you aren’t distracted by the bewilderment of whats around you, is when you think too much. Thinking too much. Its cancerous. I’ve always been told to not, and if I did, not to do so much of it. I’ve been good lately as to staying on top of it, staying busy, finding that high. I need to go get it. 

I should stop before I regret it in the morning. But than again, I dont believe in regrets. Its probably why I sleep so well. 

No expectations. Big plans. That is the key. 

Maybe I liike this roller coaster maybe it keeps me high. 

NYC

Tumblr world, send me the coolest shit to do in NYC, not the cookie cutter Times Square/Central Park stuff. I want hole in the wall, indie locales, shtuff like that. Much appreciation. 

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